Dying To Fit In

On February 14, 1979, my mother died suddenly from complications after a gastric bypass surgery at 29 years of age. She weighed approximately 275lbs and had tried every other conventional method of losing weight without success before her doctor suggested this pioneering procedure. When I say she tried every other way to lose weight, I'm not over exaggerating. I was very young, but I remember her endless attempts back then with and without friends or family to bring along for the journey...Weight Watchers, Ayds candies, Metracal shakes, The Stillman's Diet...I could go on and on. Nothing worked because, looking back at her baby pictures now, it was blatantly obvious that she was never supposed to be skinny.

Mom's first birthday, 1950

Driven by a culture that pressures girls to look a certain way, act a certain way, dress a certain way, eat a certain way... I don't think she ever stood a chance at being normal...at being happy with what she saw in the mirror. Despite her size she was a healthy and vibrant young woman...and an avid sports enthusiast. She never sat on the sidelines...ever. She played softball, hockey, football, basketball, volleyball...you name it...for all of her junior high and high school teams.

Mom and her older sister, 1951

The fondest of memories comes back to me now of her playing football. We were on a family vacation with a few other families my parents were friends with. We went to Yellowknife that summer and for those who aren't aware of this, there is 24hrs of sunlight in the NWT over the summer months. After we kids were put to bed, the adults all played tackle football next to the campers until well after midnight. Peeking out the windows, we sure admired her. Mom was a force to be reckoned with out on that field! :D I also remember her showing me many times how the caps over her knees were smashed so badly to bits from all the times she'd slid home playing softball. LOL It used to give me the willies pushing those cartilage pieces around under her skin!

It has always saddened me to know that it was peer pressure and our own culture that took this beautiful woman away from my little sister and me when we were so young...and for what? Corporate sales? That's all it really comes down to, right? Money and corporate greed. Now...34 years later...has anything really gotten any better?